The baby blues

And very often, it does not correspond exactly to the idea the expectant mother had formed before the birth. It doesn't have to be traumatic — simply, the imagined birth is not the same as the one that actually takes place. The first meeting with the baby is sometimes quite different from what was expected.

This baby who has just arrived is, of course, the most beautiful baby. The one the whole family had already adored before their arrival. Everyone is delighted to meet them, rushing to the maternity ward to give them a cuddle.
 

But then why, faced with this miracle of life, faced with this intense shared happiness, are not all women able to experience that feeling of elation — and some are even overcome by more negative thoughts? We might even ask ourselves why: 
 

Are they crying? Do they feel incapable of looking after their baby despite all their careful preparation for the birth? Why can't they bear to hear their baby cry? Are they crying themselves, when all they should feel is happiness with their baby? Can they no longer stand the visits from all those loved ones they care so much about? Have they lost their appetite, even though they had been longing to eat again all the things they had been advised to avoid during pregnancy?

The answer is, quite simply: no. What these women are experiencing is neither serious nor pathological. It is known as "postpartum blues", more commonly referred to as "baby blues". Baby blues is a mild mood disturbance. Depending on the source, it affects between 30 and 80% of mothers following the birth of their child. It is not "depression".

Pregnancy is an essential stage in a woman's psychosexual development and journey into parenthood. It brings about profound changes — physical, organic, and psychosocial — that can be experienced as sources of stress. The arrival of a baby is no small thing!
 

Postpartum blues, or baby blues, also known as third-day syndrome, is a transient state. It typically occurs between the second and fifth day after birth, with a peak on the third day. It generally lasts between four and seven days, and can sometimes be as brief as twenty-four hours.

The symptoms are fairly typical: anxiety, irritability, emotional lability, dysphoria, sleep disturbances, fatigue and somatic complaints.

Those close to her are often taken aback by the bouts of tears, the sensitivity, the fear of being abandoned or of not being able to care for the baby — particularly when the birth went smoothly.
 

It may therefore be hard to believe, for a woman going through this state and for those around her, that it is only temporary and not at all pathological — but that is no reason to dismiss it.
 

And yet, it is essential to remember that baby blues requires no medical treatment.

Most of the time, all it takes is warm, attentive support from carers and family — truly listening to the new mother and acknowledging her difficulties, particularly with her baby, while encouraging her and valuing her in her new role. This approach, combined with information and the involvement of those around her, helps her navigate what is considered a "normal variation" with ease. After a few days, women generally rediscover their good spirits and the joy of caring for their baby.

It is important to remain vigilant if this state, which is normally transient, lasts more than a week or if symptoms intensify. Indeed, this can then enter a different diagnostic category, such as postnatal depression. The postnatal depression should not be overlooked and must be addressed early. This will help support a swift recovery so as not to hinder the mother-baby bond and to promote secure attachment in the newborn. It is important to remain vigilant in the weeks following birth regarding the mother's wellbeing, and not to hesitate to seek help from professionals to prevent this type of depression from taking hold.

In summary, it is perfectly normal for a new mother to feel overwhelmed by the arrival of her baby, as long as it remains temporary. This is what we call the "baby blues", which lasts only a few days. With hindsight, one might wonder how those mothers who manage everything effortlessly actually do it!

If this state persists for more than a few days or even weeks after birth, it may indicate depression, which should be addressed by a specialist.
 

Let us stay attentive to the new mums around us, support them and reassure them. Most of the time, mothers, under pressure from those around them and the desire to do everything perfectly for their baby, find themselves overwhelmed and no longer have time to enjoy this new role, struggling to make it their own.
 

So for these mums, allow your emotions to be expressed, remember that all of this is temporary, and give yourself the time you need to welcome this new life.