How to wean your baby and stop breastfeeding?

As La Leche League points out, there is no minimum duration for breastfeeding. There is no specific age at which you need to wean your baby. The WHO recommends exclusive breastfeeding up to 6 months, and continuing alongside solid foods as part of dietary diversification until at least 2 years. Continuing to breastfeed, whatever your baby's age, is first and foremost a personal decision, one that belongs to the mother and, more broadly, to the parents. 

According to a survey by the Institut des mamans conducted in 2008, 85% of mothers who had weaned their child would have liked to breastfeed for longer. Many of them cite reasons that point to insufficient support: fear of not having enough milk, returning to work, pressure from those around them or even from healthcare professionals or the setting that would be caring for their baby.

Some mothers allow themselves to be convinced to wean their baby earlier than they had originally planned. 

Causes of involuntary weaning

The reasons that lead them to do so include the following (non-exhaustive list):

– The feeling of not having enough milk.

– Fear that breast milk is not nutritious enough.

– Baby constantly asking to feed at the breast. 

– Pain (cracked nipples, repeated engorgement, blocked ducts, breastfeeding mastitis,..).

– A nipple confusion.

– A baby who goes on a nursing strike.

– A maternal illness (e.g. bronchitis, gastroenteritis…).

– The start of weaning onto solid foods. 

All of these reasons can lead to an early or involuntary end to breastfeeding due to a lack of information. In fact, none of the reasons mentioned is sufficient grounds to push you towards permanently stopping breastfeeding. 
 

Nothing justifies involuntary weaning

Let us briefly recall that if you have any doubts about the amount of milk produced, it is advisable to consult a qualified expert (an IBCLC lactation consultant). The introduction of solid foods should not lead to weaning. Milk remains the basis of your baby's diet, and even afterwards it complements meals. Nipple confusion is essentially a matter of milk flow. The concept of nipple confusion is largely a constructed fear and, in practice, it is quite rare. A nursing strike often points to a broader issue. Pain is a symptom. A solution can be found to address it in each case. It is rare to have to stop breastfeeding when you are ill, with the exception of cancer, as the treatments are incompatible.

If in doubt, do not hesitate to seek help from an expert such as an IBCLC lactation consultant. They will also help you avoid experiencing weaning with a sense of helplessness, failure, or guilt. Although breastfeeding is a natural practice, it is important to ask for support when things do not go as expected. Most difficulties can be overcome with the right care. Find out more from pregnancy onwards, so you can be better prepared.

Breastfeed frequently and on demand

If you are worried about not having enough milk, you can put your baby to the breast more frequently. This will help stimulate your supply. In the first months of life, feed your baby on demand, so that your milk production is well established. If in doubt, you can even anticipate your baby's cues. Rest assured, you cannot feed your baby too often, and offering the breast more than 12 times a day does not create bad habits.

Sometimes your baby may refuse to feed for a while, because they are unwell (ear infection...) or teething. This can be a difficult situation to cope with. If your baby repeatedly rejects the breast, make sure you maintain a milk supply that is plentiful enough to fully satisfy them and ease their effort when they feed easily again. If needed, you can take a postpartum food supplement to support your milk supply, on the advice of an IBCLC lactation consultant. 

Treat your pain 

Another scenario: breastfeeding is causing you so much pain that every feed becomes an ordeal. You dread them and may even find yourself — and we completely understand — trying to avoid putting your baby to the breast. Rather than giving up, use a breast pump to drain your breasts. Give your nipples a rest from your baby's suckling and treat them straight away, while keeping your supply going. This approach, known as exclusive pumping, can help you temporarily identify that the pain comes from the way your baby latches; it may even stop altogether, allowing you to continue offering your precious milk to your baby without putting them to the breast.

As for choosing between getting treatment and breastfeeding, the good news is that you can do both! Some healthcare professionals are still unaware that, within most medication families, there are options compatible with breastfeeding. To help guide your conversation with the professionals you consult, you can ask them to look at the CRAT or E Lactancia website (in English or Spanish) with you if in doubt.

Don't listen to others

Of course, you may be faced with a host of comments. "You know, breastfeeding may just not be for you." "It's time to stop now, you've given everything." "You don't have enough milk to feed him, you'll have to accept moving on to a bottle." "He's eating solid foods now, your milk is no longer suitable." Listen only to yourself and your baby, and certainly not to those around you who may sometimes encourage you to stop breastfeeding during these difficult episodes.

The good news is that it's not all or nothing. A great many mothers have felt more fulfilled by opting for a breast pump or partial breastfeeding. This has allowed them to extend that milk-fed bond with their baby.
 

Ask for help

Ask your partner or someone close to you (parents, grandparents, friends, etc.) to help and support you while you find the solution that works for you and protects both your baby's health and your own. This person can help you find a specialist who can assist you, book an appointment and accompany you there, and can also look after your baby or even give them a bottle of your milk.

Weaning your baby and returning to work are not incompatible

Many mothers are led to believe that returning to work inevitably means weaning their baby. They come to imagine that the only lucky ones who can continue breastfeeding for as long as they wish are stay-at-home mothers — because breastfeeding leave which does not exist in France. Fortunately, that is far from the truth, and many mothers do manage to combine breastfeeding and work.

Sadly, they often face detractors who make comments such as: "You'll be too tired", "You won't be able to express at the office", "You should wean — they'll be waking you up too much at night".

Just as any smoker returning to work after time off would not question whether to continue smoking, one might wonder why a practice that bonds you to your baby and is full of benefits is so often criticised.

Returning to work does not necessarily mean a planned end to breastfeeding. If you would rather not express milk at work, you can gradually cut out daytime feeds or pumping sessions, and keep only the feeds when you are with your baby: morning, end of the day (that wonderful reunion feed), evening and night of course too. The night feed is also very beneficial for your baby's sleep. 

Studies have shown that breastfed babies are noticeably less ill than babies fed with infant formula, and we often worry that exposing a baby to the germs and viruses of other children at nursery or with a childminder will bring a succession of childhood illnesses. A baby who is less ill also means less exhaustion for the whole family, and fewer days off work. The separation will also be less difficult — for you and for them. 

Avoiding weaning when returning to work

It is always possible to adapt your pace and habits so that your baby can continue to benefit as long as possible from the benefits of breastfeeding. Across all professions, mothers share how they have managed to continue breastfeeding while working — from primary school teachers to flight attendants, farmers to lawyers, many women have done it before you. Everything is possible with a little organisation, for everyone's benefit.

Moreover, it is worth emphasising that there is no such thing as "not enough" breastfeeding. The benefits are said to be dose-dependent, meaning the longer you breastfeed, the greater the advantages for your baby's health and your own. So even if you only feed your baby once a day — in the morning or evening, for example — it will always be better than nothing. They will continue to benefit from your breast milk, particularly in terms of immunity and emotional wellbeing.

Also bear in mind that the first few weeks (and sometimes months) are often the hardest. With time, the pleasure grows and it becomes a natural part of your daily routine.

If you have decided to wean your baby, do so gradually, over several weeks. This will help you avoid potential engorgement and other discomforts, or even mastitis or, worse, an abscess. It will also allow your child to gently adjust to the bottle and infant formula.

The weaning period

Allow around one month for a complete wean. Start by reducing the length of one feed by half and topping it up with formula. If your baby tolerates this without difficulty and you don't feel any engorgement after 3 days, you can drop that feed completely and give a bottle of formula instead before moving on to the next one, and so on, until weaning is complete. In the event of engorgement, you can massage your breasts in a warm shower, let your baby feed again, or manually express just enough milk to relieve the discomfort. We go into more detail in the articles onmixed feeding and stopping the milk coming in.

Our tips for weaning your baby

Here are some tips to help this transition go as smoothly as possible for you and your child:

 – Reduce the duration of feeds,

 – Continue skin-to-skin contact and cuddles against your chest, so your baby keeps your reassuring closeness even without feeds. Breastfeeding is not just a meal for your baby — it is also a way for them to calm down and feel secure. Make sure you meet that need through affectionate gestures and plenty of closeness, for example by carrying your baby in a sling. 

 – Try changing routines gradually, step by step: have breakfast with your child, read to them, offer a snack…

 – If you are switching to a bottle, don't make them wait too long. There is no point in waiting until they are very hungry, as this could lead to a lot of frustration, making the transition away from breastfeeding more difficult.

There is no right or wrong time. Start when you feel ready and it feels right for you.

Whatever your baby's age, always seek advice from your doctor on the type of infant formula to give them as a replacement for breast milk. The claim "as a follow-on from breastfeeding" has no scientific justification in France. In 2015, the French Society of Paediatrics published an unambiguous statement on the matter: "these infant formulas do not meet any specifically defined scientific nutritional need, and their formulation is not based on any regulatory criteria for composition". 

If your baby is reluctant to drink from a bottle, be patient and creative too. They can very easily drink in ways other than from a bottle — from a cup, for example. 

You had decided to wean your baby and now you'd like to start breastfeeding again. It's always possible. Begin by stimulating your milk production again by putting your baby to the breast as frequently as possible, and by consuming galactagogue foods (breastfeeding herbal tea, or breastfeeding snacks Jolly Mama). Some mums will need a breast pump to restart their milk production.

If you have finished weaning your baby, or had to stop for a few weeks for external reasons (surgery, illness, etc.), you can restart breastfeeding with the support of an expert, such as an IBCLC lactation consultant.

You can also choose to follow your baby's lead, and stop when they are ready.

Of course, this does not mean that the mother cannot set her own boundaries. 

As Claude Didierjean-Jouveau rightly highlights in Allaiter aujourd'hui:

"Natural weaning [is] like a complex dance between mother and child. (..) Considering natural weaning is certainly embarking on an adventure whose end — when and how — remains unknown. This can be unsettling, even anxiety-inducing. But it is giving your child the beautiful gift of a fully completed breastfeeding relationship, and gaining for yourself a sense of fulfilment that is oh so precious."

Listen to yourself, listen to your child, choose when to wean your baby — don't let it happen to you — and seek support if you need it. Weaning is a time of transition that can stir up a great many emotions and strong feelings. Ideally, surround yourself with people who are caring and who have been through this themselves, so you can navigate it with more ease. Support organisations such as La Leche League or Solidarilait, to name just two, offer gatherings between mothers where you can freely discuss this topic.